It looks like we’ve missed the boat yet again with baby no. 2. On Sunday, I experienced another bout of PMS which is usually the prelude of a bleed. I never really used to notice my bouts of PMS. I never thought myself to be susceptible to it.
Some people call it pre-menstrual tension, which I tend to think is a better description because that’s exactly how I usually feel – tense. I feel like I’ve a bone to pick with anyone and everyone who gets in my way. It’s almost like being the boxer in a ring eagerly waiting for my opponent to come and get me. “Bring it on! I dare you to!” It is as if I want someone to to raise my hackles so I have permission to lash out.
Sometimes, I lash out because I can’t be bothered to wait for someone to step on my toes. And when the rational mind tries to bring reason, I feel frustrated and teary because I feel so out of control. If I’m not fighting with someone, I’m crying.
Before I had a child, it was usually manageable – difficult, but manageable nonetheless. Hubby would just stay out of my war path (or suffer the consequences) until I became a sane human-being again. On Sunday, I’m afraid Gavin bore the brunt of my hormonal fury. I realise how dreadfully unfair I was to him and I did apologise after the fact. Even though the remnants of my logical mind was telling me I was being unfair, the demons had been unleashed and there was no going back.
What happened on Sunday was almost like the reverse of the “pay it forward” idea. Because I was harsh with Gavin, he was exceptionally difficult that day, which ticked the hubby off, whose mood was already on the decline because he was ravenous, who was then harsh with Gavin and well, you can see where it’s all going. In the end, we all came home in a bad mood and no one enjoyed their Sunday.
What can you do to control the hormones? Go on the pill – which isn’t exactly an option for me right now since we do want a second baby. Maybe it’s time to start researching some natural remedies – anyone care to recommend something?