Singapore 2003 – Reflections

Here’s the rest of the trip report from the Rockrats first trip down south:

Adventures of the Rockrats down South…

Our adventure started in PJ when we left the city at 10pm – two hours after our agreed meeting time of 8pm at Centrepoint. Fearless and Thin Man arrived after a little miscalculation with the fuel resulted in their having to push the car to the nearest petrol kiosk. After a hearty meal at the Italian joint, we were on our way…

We made it to Kit’s place by about 3am (with Fearless bringing up the rear and arriving about half an hour later).

Saturday morning at about 7am found Mother Nature’s tears battering down upon the roof tiles, but her weeping subsided to a cheerful sunrise as we sped down the road to Safra Yishun. Le Grunt lent me his car to drive – I was surprised. I thought all guys coddled their cars like an overprotective mother over the runt of her litter. It was fun to drive (aside from the very heavy clutch). The familiar touch sent a wave of nostalgia that brought me sharply back to “K” – the Mitsubishi Lancer I used to own in Australia. I miss that car…

We arrived early to Safra Yishun, though admittedly I pushed them hard to make sure we were there early. I don’t know about the others, but I just wanted to climb and I didn’t really care how much sleep I had as long as I could be out there on the wall. That empty space in my heart was back and it needed to be filled up with the only reality that could bring me peace – where the only thing that mattered was the next wall, the next climb, the next bolt, the next hold, the next move. I needed to numb the pain in my heart with the pain in my hands and shut off my mind from replaying the events I wanted to forget. The closer I got to the artificial wall, the calmer I felt. It was like the wall removed my angst and eased the ailments of my decrepit soul.

The closeness of the walls was comforting and Yishun’s warm presence aroused my senses, bringing me back to life. Our foreplay began on the bouldering wall and continued with a lead up the rainbow climb. I slipped easily into a comfort level with Yishun. I experienced no fear and we dropped to a level of intimacy far more quickly than I ever expected to with a new wall. I was on the girls’ competition route before I knew it, with Ken belaying me. The route was relentless with it power and endurance moves but nevertheless, I achieved my orgasm and got lowered off like a bird gliding to the ground.

I was disappointed that we had to part so soon, but the 5C Master was anxious to check out some draws at Allsports, so we packed and left for lunch. I only discovered the existence of my stomach when we arrived at Peninsular Plaza. The euphoria of the earlier part of the day was rapidly draining because I felt the shadows settling in again. Shameless made a light joke about a revealing picture of me taken at Yishun and I lost my head.

It was a strange feeling of mixed emotions – a cool anger that was like the calm before a storm. I felt like a third party observing my emotions like a scientist recording the results of a failed experiment. The anger dissipated quickly as I stepped into Allsports, looking around with the fascinated wonder of Charlie in Willie Wonker’s Chocolate Factory.

Whenever I read what I wrote about climbing back in the days when I used to climb with such intensity and  passion, it strikes me that I had a rather morbid and morose outlook on life.  Hot-headed and reckless, I think I didn’t really “grow-up” as far as climbing was concerned until much later.  I think it was only when I stopped chasing grades and started climbing for pure enjoyment that I elevated to a whole new mental level in climbing.  In a way, I think it was a good thing.

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